Wednesday, April 2, 2008

001.285.365

  • In very high spirits today. Feeling good in large part to a revelation of sorts I had yesterday. Nothing major... but just a thought. I'm sure we all know what that's like. Looking at a situation through another lens. Makes things seem less... well... maybe it doesn't make anything seem like anything, it's just great to gain some perspective. Having the idea now feels great because it must have meant I was oblivious then, before I had the thought. I think one of the greatest tragedies in all the world is lacking awareness, especially self-awareness. It's wonderful to feel as though you can wrap your head around something and understand it in some small way.
  • It's funny... I was so excited yesterday because I had this urge to write something today, but today is a Third day and so I'll have to wait. Now I can't remember what it was that I was gonna blather on about tomorrow. Maybe it'll come to me in dream. Maybe the point was to take away how much I enjoy writing? I remember that. I was drawing these parallels with drawing... and at some points during my yammering/writing I can touch that place I go when I draw. It was kinda wild to access that source in another way. Kinda like discovering another entrance to your house that you never knew was there. I was wondering how many different paths there are to that place. And then I was going on and on in my head about something I don't care to share now because I could go on forever and ever.
  • I've been having fantastic dreams lately. I always enjoy my dreams for one reason or another. Even nightmares I enjoy 'cause I feel they get at the root of things... they're opportunities at self-illumination. Fortunately I haven't been plagued with nightmares. These dreams are different. I used the word fantastic for a reason. They're like little fantasies. Warped too. So they're not exactly pleasant but again, they're not nightmares. It's a weird marriage of light and dark. I think the thing that I've been taken with the most is their mystery. I've always, or at least most of the time, have been able to decipher my dreams... been able to draw some meaning from them. But lately I've been having a string of dreams that just don't make sense to me. I can't take anything away. I've some ideas about what that might mean... but that's personal. ;)
  • My media consumption's been a bit screwy lately thanks to my latest obsession with In Treatment. I can't get enough of that show! :P I've gotten in the habit of watching a week's worth of shows in a night. That's two and a half hours of consumption time I've had to steal away from everything else. Everything will return to normal shortly though. Unfortunately I'm almost done with the season. :( There's 43 episodes and I'm gonna dive through 31-35 tonight. I hate that it's gonna end soon. Which is weird since I love endings as much as I do beginnings... but I just don't want it to end. I want more. I've become ravenous. I'm doing my best to psych myself up for the end. And I see it coming and it's on it's way - Tori Amos (Bells For Her, from Under The Pink).
  • I've had this one line from Tori Amos' Dātura running through my head lately: Is there room in my heart / For you to follow your heart / And not need more blood / From the tip of your star?
  • I've been laughing a lot today, the highlight being when I lost all control while I had a mouth full of cake and milk. I sprayed it all over and thought how wild it was that it looked so much vomit. It made me laugh all the more.
  • Time to call it a night. Time to set sail.
  • Goodnight you sailors and tailors.


DS333, at peace.

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