To Commit

Close call tonight. I almost didn't blog. It didn't slip my mind or anything, I just didn't want to get around to it. I could've sworn early on in my little blogging experiment that I mentioned the idea of using rain check posts. Just little blurbs that excused myself from the real work of committing something solid and substantial to print. I know there was at least one. There has to be. I think I referred to the idea as my "get out jail free" posts. I would have three throughout the year to use. But looking back at all my blog entry titles nothing really pops out as being the case. So I thought I wouldn't really start right now. I thought I should make the effort to talk about something... anything.

Given my mood, I thought blog fading was an excellent topic to attack. I mentioned the idea in one of my first posts. I had misspoken then, but since I've decided not to seriously edit anything I've already posted I've just let it float out there. I had said that blog fading is only a real problem after the first year. It becomes a huge problem more quickly than that. I think it's a few weeks. If not, months. So far I've beaten the odds. But lately I've been dreading having to post. :P In some ways it's become a chore and that's exactly what I don't want it to become. I mean it's not, it hasn't, it just feels that way sometimes. I think that's more my fault than anything else. It's all about perspective. It only becomes burdensome when I put it off like I have tonight. When I reach a point where I don't want to do anything else but sleep. That's all on me. My fault.

I need to not give up on this thing because... well I made it a resolution and when I make sure to commit to something, an idea, a person, a promise I can't let myself not follow through. I would feel horrible about quitting on this project. I need to feel committed to something right now. I need this more than it needs me, or more than anyone else needs to read or witness it. This is very much about me right now; personal. There were several reasons why this whole project got started in the first place, but at it's core it's all about commitment, loyalty and perseverance. I gotta stay on track. I need to stay true to this. I'm not gonna give up. I can't.

DS333, resolute.