Compound Offenses

In my last blog post, I wasn't totally sure whether or not I brought up my straight edge stance before. At least, I wasn't sure if I went in depth on the subject. So I figured, what better topic to blather on about tonight? But I promise I'll try not to blather on much, even though I certainly can. These Random posts were meant to be nothing more than little blurbs, a sort of vacation from the longer, more structured Feature posts, but somehow I got that all screwed up. :P Once I get going, it's hard to get me to stop. ;)

Now, I'm not exactly sure I'm comfortable using the term straight edge. There seems to be a wide range of definitions for the term and I'd hate to get lost in the semantics. But that's just as well since I hate using labels, classifications and categories as they pertain to me (or anyone else for that matter). I just know that I abstain from drugs. Though, drugs is a loaded word and varies from person to person. For me, drugs would include any kind of alcohol, anything that can be smoked and anything illicit. To me, that's everything. But, some would say taking aspirin or caffeine is over the line. I think that's crazy, yet admirable. Still, I'd never be so stringent.

I also have a problem using straight edge since it implies that it's something that's been adopted. Though maybe not, it just seems that way to me. For me it's just been a normal way of life. It's not as though I became aware of the lifestyle and decided to integrate it with my own. I've been straight edge before I knew what straight edge was. I've never experimented with a single thing. A drop of alcohol has never passed through these lips, nor a puff of smoke been exhaled passed them. I've just never felt the urge or desire to take part in anything like that. Though I don't have a... what would I say... I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with drugs. I mean it's ridiculous to me that certain things are legal and others are not. It seems to be an arbitrary matter of perspective.

I've wondered why I am the way I am in relation to this thing. I've thought that being Native American has certainly fueled my ardent aversion to alcohol since I've seen first hand what sort of damage it can cause. Thankfully, it's never been a problem within my immediate family. But seeing what it's done to us as a people is the most... it's a mixture of things, mostly anger and sadness. So there's that, and there's also maybe not wanting to live up to a stereotype. I'd imagine if I ever were a drinker, I wouldn't become a heavy drinker; a drunk. But that wouldn't matter, it would be enough to have a drink in my hand for that imagery to be conjured up. I would become that cliche. But it wouldn't be the thoughts of others that I'd be worried about. I could give a fuck about what people think of me. It would be a whole inner conflict. I just wouldn't... like I said, it's not my thing. These thoughts aren't fueling my abstinence, it's just a thought.

And in a broader sense, I don't have a problem with drug-users. Some of my very best friends were users. These are the type of people I'd die for. Just the greatest human beings you could ever meet. So for me, drug use never got muddled up with some deranged vision of what or who people are who use them. I'd have to imagine the world's full of straight edge rapist, pedophiles. Partaking in one thing over another doesn't make you a better person. Nor does it make you a horrible person. It doesn't always speak to the character of a person. So I'm not wrestling with some demonic connotation of drug use either.

I have this over-active, wild imagination. I'm the master of visualization. It's just who I am. I interpret things much better with visuals than with sound or text. It's where I live; that's my zone. So, for as long as I can remember I've always carried this image in my mind of what it is to bring drugs into my system. I've this view of what it's like for smoke to creep into my lungs; alcohol into the blood. The imagery is caustic and violent; an affront to the body. It just doesn't make sense for me to wage war on my body in the way that I see it. It's nothing but damage. Though, it's not that I don't do damage to my body already. I'm not the healthiest eater in the world, not by a long shot. So you might argue that it doesn't make a difference at all.

I find people bringing this argument up all over the place, not just as it pertains to this subject, but many others. It seems most people can't comprehend the concept of compound offenses. It goes against my thinking in every way. To do what's always been done amounts to nothing and everything. Because I beat my child, it doesn't matter if I continue to do so? The damage has already been done? Everything matters, everything counts. Because I'm doing damage to my body through a chemical-infused diet doesn't mean that I shouldn't care to do more. This is enough. I'd be a hell of a lot worse off if I took up smoking or drinking. I want to live, plain and simple. Adding anything else to the mix is only going to take away from that wish. It's just unhealthy. I can't wrap my mind around it. I just couldn't do it. It's not in my bones or blood. It's... we're diametrically opposed. That world in so far flung from my own.


DS333, clean.

p.s. I didn't even go to the economic argument. Can you imagine the awesome DVD library smokers and drinkers could create if they saved their cash? Oh my god, that'd be it for me. :P