A Glutton's Gloom

I don't know that there's anything as soul-crushing as building up a strong appetite by fantasizing about a particular food and then not finding it there to greet you in the kitchen. :(... It happens more times than I would like, at least recently. Though, there's a difference between being disappointed by inflated expectations and plain forgetfulness. I think it's a sure sign that I'm a glutton through and through when I can't remember I just polished off an entire carton of ice cream a few minutes before. :P I've been forgetting what I've been eating in the last few weeks. Or rather, how much I've been eating. I'll go for another gulp or another bite and find that I'm all done. "Oh yeah..." It's kinda scary when you think about it... it's almost like experiencing lost time. Though, I'd probably feel more comfortable losing chunks of time than food. :P ;)

Anyway, that's that. I've learned to live with it. In the grand scheme of things, it's nothing big and doesn't happen all that often... just recently. I don't know why. Might be kinda dangerous though. Dangerous in that I feel it's somewhat mixed up with that thing that the obese speak of when they say that eating sometimes becomes a time-kill. Y'know, not at all about the eating and the staving off of hunger, but more about just being bored and doing something. That oblivious automatic response I think is dangerous. I don't eat just to eat. That strain of gluttony is the most disgusting thing to me. It's like taking a lover for granted. I'm very much into the experience and sensuality of taste, but I guess I'm suffering from the same automation so I shouldn't throw stones... but I will anyway. :P

Okay... I never know how to wrap up these Random posts, so I'll just say bon appétit. Hopefully my mind will be more in the game in the future, I don't know how much soul-crushing I can take. I'm gonna go look for something to eat now. :P ;)


DS333, The Sensualist.