001.192.365

• Happy New Year! :D
• I think it's amazing that a Third post landed on New Year's Eve. This is perfect harmony. ;)
• Amazon Claus delivered the Etymotic ER6i earphones I ordered along with Radiohead's In Rainbows. I'm a very happy man today. :)
• My Sis dropped by to let me borrow her Nintendo DS. I've been consumed with Picross ever since. ;)
• My feet hurt. It's these boots.
• So glad to be spending the evening home. Which is no huge shift. I just did NOT want to go out for New Year's. I had my hopes set on catching Radiohead's live streaming New Year's performance. :D
• Learned that Howard Stern will return live later in the week. This is good. :)
  
• I spent a good couple of hours playing Blockles today. This one guy from Norway was really kicking my ass! :P I won once, but I'm convinced he let me win... though he denies that assertion.
• Using my new Etymotic earphones is a slightly erotic experience. :P
• I've been listening to a lot of Radiohead lately.
• Watched all the DVDs I got for X-mas.
• How does a Navajo guy, such as myself, get on the American Jewish University's mailing list?
• I've been getting up a lot earlier lately. I don't think I've adjusted just yet. Feeling sleepy right now.
• My left shoulder's sore.
• I'm blathering. :P
• Happy 2008 you weird fishes. ;)

DS333, chill.

Color Theory

Well, the end of the year is almost upon us. For me, that means a little bit of an overhaul. I'll be switching out all my avatars and such for something a little new. I'll be casting off my usual green & black motif for it's counterpart...

When I was in elementary school my favorite days were those in which I got to duck out of the usual grind of the day to excuse myself for my Native American studies. There were only a few savages who attended the school along with my cousin and I so it was a very quiet and peaceful escape. It was cool being part of a select few. Still is. But the best part of those classes was the actual study. Learning not only about our own tribe, but the tribes of those spread across this nation. For the most part, our studies were very much hands-on in the form of crafts. And it was there that I first recall my budding relationship with color and its symbology.

The colors I use are very deliberate. Being the symbology nut that I am, I'm very much intrigued with pairs of opposites. So I thought I'd create a simple palette of paired colors for my online identity. I wanted something stark and simplistic, not only in appearance but also in philosophy. The prime opposites were my inspiration: life and death. I've always been tied most closely with the odd and the dark, so when I first set out with this little project I decided to begin on an odd year (2007) and a dark color (black, yeah I know it's not really a color :P ). Black and green were my first choice. The black representing death, and the green life. Their counterpart being white and red.

Funny thing about white & red. For me, I see only death... only the dark. In my mind, it makes sense that they're a counterpart to black and green, but I've just had this disconnect with associating red with life. And white is such... well... anyway, I didn't want to get too long-winded in the last few posts of the year. Anyway, that's been the plan... my scheme. I'm gonna do the switch out just before the year runs out and keep it up and going for a full year. At that time, I guess I'll think of something else. I had thought of inverting their layout and keeping the theme... but 2009 is going to be an important year and I think I need something a bit more personal. I think the Wizard will have to come out from behind the curtain...


DS333, red-faced.

Well Worth The Price Of Admission

In my last post I mentioned that I went to the Arclight theatre in Hollywood to see There Will Be Blood. For a while I was debating whether or not I should go. Not because I had any doubt about seeing the movie. My main concern was the price. I was wondering if I could wait things out and hope that the movie would open to a wider release in the coming months (for now, the Arclight is the only theatre in Los Angeles showing There Will Be Blood). If I could catch the movie at any of the local theatres I could use a gift certificate or some cold hard cash at half the price. The Arclight charges $11 on the weekday and $14 on the weekend. Which granted, is expensive. But when I really got down to thinking about it, is so worth it.

You're really paying for peace of mind. The Arclight is a luxury theatre. It has all the amenities. But what I love most is the audience. They're all cinephiles. They've respect for the movie going experience. Which means I don't have to play nanny for the day. At the last movie I saw, No Country For Old Men, I had to tell some people to shut the fuck up 'cause they thought they were watching the movie in their own living room. That drives me up the fucking wall. For one, they show no respect for anyone else in the theatre. I can't stand that lack of respect within a communal space. Plus, I hate being the asshole telling people how they should act. I'd prefer not having to dress someone down. It's embarrassing for both of us. It's such a... ugh... I just hate the whole experience. It infuriates me, makes me anxious, nervous, etc. It's something I'd just as soon do without.

That more than anything made me more than happy to part with my $14. Sure, I could buy a DVD with that money, see the movie twice somewhere else, rent nine movies but nothing compares to a perfect movie going experience. And if you're looking for one of those, go no further than the Arclight. Prime location. Ambiance. Assigned seating. No commercials. The best digital projections. Top notch sound system. Exclusion from the theatre if you arrive late. It's the quintessence of elegance and decorum. I've never had a bad experience there. In fact, my best movie going experiences have all been at the Arclight. I love it, love it, love it. :D


DS333, in love.

001.189.365

• My sleep's been all fucked up the past few days.
• Went to see There Will Be Blood today at the Arclight theatre in Hollywood.
• The Arclight must be my favorite theatre in the whole wide world.
• I'm hungry.
• I had a huge consumer crisis over the past few days, but I finally made my mind up today. It'll arrive from Amazon around next week. :D
• Not feeling the writing thing write now.

DS333, uninspired and tired.

Memory... "Schoolyard Graveyard"

I don't know why this memory has been surfacing lately, but that's the exact reason I thought I'd talk about it. Maybe it'll recede back to the lower depths once it's basked in the spotlight for a while.

I've just been thinking about this pet hamster we had in our... gee, I wanna say first grade class but maybe we were too young then? If that's the case, it had to be our second grade class. Now that I think about it more, I do think it was our second grade class. It's sad that I don't even remember his name, or whether or not he was in fact a he. Point is, he or she died. And we buried him/her. It was outside our classroom and just outside the school office entrance. The teacher's aid did the digging and I don't remember who laid the hamster to rest. And now that I think about it, I wonder how the service went. Surely there couldn't have been any overt religious overtones, being a public school and all.

More than anything I've just been thinking about that patch of ground. We weren't there when the school was founded and we obviously weren't the first students to have a classroom pet. Many must have died and many must have been buried. I didn't think of it then. But all I've been thinking... all I've been visualizing is that ground and the bones. The countless amount of bones. Buried memories. I wonder if for anyone the memory is more poignant. If that death or any of those deaths was a trauma. Has anyone been living with the ghost of that memory? Do they remember the names? Do they wake in a cold sweat with teary eyes?

It wasn't just our hamster. There must have been more. Thinking about those others has made me think about the experience of my other classmates. I can't remember it being much of anything, or talking about it in the days after. But I have to assume... like with all communal experiences it was felt in uniquely personal ways. I'm tied to the imagery of that day. I wonder if someone is tied to the emotions. I wonder if anyone's paid any of it any mind whatsoever...


DS333, pondering.

Memory... "Bloody Christmas"

I have to imagine I'd wet myself as a child, but I don't have a specific memory of it so I can't be sure. The only time I ever remember feeling cold and wet in bed was some years back during the holidays. I was probably... I somewhere between seven and 10 years of age. I don't remember feeling particularly sick during the days leading up to Christmas of that year, so it came as quite a surprise when I was hit with the weirdest illness on Christmas Day. I was a wee lad, so after everything went down I never really got around to getting the full details about what had befallen me. I'm sure if I were to ask about it now, no one would have a definitive answer. It would be a jumbled mess of supposed truth. Given the choice between misinformation and ignorance, I'd go for the latter in a heart beat. :P

All I remember was being at our relatives' home that evening, just as we were about to open presents. Then the vomiting began; vomiting like crazy. I'd think everything was fine and then I'd feel nauseous again. I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop. It didn't take long to realize something was wrong. So I was taken to the hospital.

I remember my brothers being there. My Mom and Dad of course. I remember them bringing the toys I received that night. But more than anything I remember the IV. I've always hated needles, and come to think of it... maybe it stems from this experience? The timelines are blurry, so I don't know if I had the same deathly fear of needles before this night or not. I remember hating the IV going in. Then I remember sleep. Then consciousness in the middle of the night. Then I remember feeling wet. Then I remember seeing the sheets pulled back. Then the sight of my body drenched in my own blood. I remember the stark contrast of the vibrant red against the cold white of the sheets. There wasn't a shock and I don't remember crying. All I remember is being lost in the trance of that sight. I remember I was cold. So very cold.


DS333, entranced.

001.186.365

• Winding down after a very full and busy X-mas day. Busy, yet awesome. :D Time to truly soak it all in. I predict much salivating, ogling and fondling in my immediate future. :P :D

DS333, soaking.

The Future Is Dark

It's no real news to hear that the holiday season is hitting its peak. As a result, most of the Net is dark. I thought I'd follow suit and remain dark until after New Years Day. I think the last thing people wanna do is busy themselves with reading and writing blogs. So I'm gonna be a whore and make the next few posts the most scant you've seen on this blog. ;) Which is such a great thing to be writing at this very moment. I've only had fours hours of sleep in the past 31. Not crazy, but I'm tired. Today I had to face the horror of last-minute holiday shopping. D'oh! Plus, being the resident gift wrapper, I had my hands full. Craning over the wrapping table most of the night is making my back cry out for my bed. :P

Tomorrow should be good though. I'm excited. I don't know why. Maybe because the entire family will be together this time around? Whatever it is, it's made me quite giddy for the last few days. But it's gonna be an early start. I need to be up four hours from now. So I better get as much rest as I can. ;) Happy holidays everyone! :D


DS333, dying to get in bed.

The Satellite In Flux

First off, I know what I'm about to go on about is ridiculous to go on about. :P But y'know, it's something I think about and that's a part of my life. I figure that pretty much fits the criteria for making a worthy post on a personal blog. Secondly, I just want to drive the first point home and say that I'm aware. I'm not oblivious. It's annoying to hear someone skinny talk about their weight. :P I keep thinking of that one line from that one Tori Amos song, Father Lucifer: And girls who eat pizza and never gain weight / and never gain weight. It's great to see her perform that live if only to see her flip off all those girls in the audience. They're annoying. ;)

I've always been a thin, skinny guy. I can't imagine being any other way since my body doesn't seem like he wants to change. I don't know when I reached my full height, but I'm sure I was the 5'10" (177.8 cm.) I am now at 16. And through out most of high school I weighed in somewhere in the low 130's (lbs. / 58.9-63.5 kg.). Yeah, I was really skinny. And during my vegetarian experiment I went down to the 120's. :P Yeah, for a time, I was extremely skinny. But it's never been by design. At least not mine. That veggie stint was just one of my numerous experiments and it didn't last long. It wasn't about losing weight, but more about what it would be like to give up the flesh. Conclusion? I'm a filthy savage to the core, I need the sustenance of blood and flesh. ;)

I've just always been one of those guys who struggle to put on weight. It's work. The best work, but work nonetheless. I burn off whatever weight I manage to put on in a flash. Poof! Gone. Which is great! *maniacal laugh* Because I love food and I love to eat. It's my divine gift. I imagine we all have at least one. What I have now is pretty much at the top of my list, Fire's metabolism. Though, if I had the choice... I might just give it up for Elephant's memory. That would be AWESOME!!! :D You can have your perfect body, your sharp wit, your golden tongue, etc. but having a killer memory would be the ultimate in my book...

Damn me and my tangents. :P So yeah, putting on weight is a bitch, but only a bitch if that's something you want to achieve. I never did. Though I never cared much about maintaining either 'cause my ultimate idealized version of my dream body is something I know I could never achieve. I wouldn't even look human to be quite honest. *LOL* :P Now that I think of it, that would be interesting to put on paper. I'd want much longer legs with inverted joints. A shorter torso with arms as long or maybe even a bit longer than my legs. A long neck topped with a crazy looking head... but anyway. My arms and legs more than anything I wish I had, but I don't. :( And once I knew I wouldn't have that, I decided to change my body in the later years of high school. Probably nothing noticeable to someone living outside of my body, but when I think about it I wish I hadn't. Muscle tissue is the worst to lose. I can lose the weight, or fat, easily enough, but muscle is another story. And again I'm a thin guy, you wouldn't think I have muscle :P, but I do and when I gained it I felt this... would regret be the word? My vision was long and thin, impossibly so. What I had was as close as, I suppose, was humanly possible. I mean what I had was healthy enough to live with. I had extremely thin arms and legs, but then I kinda just didn't care and wondered what it would be like to move away from that... oh to be young and make mistakes. :P

So yeah, I can never go back to that. I'm forever changed. :( But I think I have a great body. I love this machine out of all the machines I own. I just thought I'd lament about what was. So yeah, I'd imagine this thing might be torturous to most guys. I'm thinking about the body building, body-dismorphic set. This is not the kinda body you wanna try to build upon. It's too resistant and stubborn. So then we come full circle...

In high school I always was on the borderline of health, as far as my weight was concerned. I think it's funny the word they use, "ideal". Doesn't do much for your self-esteem. I mean I could never have the abstract body of my dreams, and what I have now isn't ideal? :P Funny words. So yeah, it was wild to me that 150 lbs (68 kg.) was the ideal for my frame. Not because I thought it was fat or ugly or... I don't know. It had nothing to do with my body, or my fear to change it... I just thought 150 was an impossible goal/standard to achieve. Gaining a pound or two was Mt. Everest. But that's what they said and that's what I went for.

When I first achieved it, it was a shock. 'Cause I went about it the wrong way. *L* It was just fat. I binged and languished in the luxury of atrophy. It was my version of fat. So I nixed that, lost it easily enough and started again. Now I'm up to the 150's in the way that I like. It looks awesome. ;) The way I feel in private... I imagine I was an exhibitionist in another life. I was burned at the stake for my heretic vanity. :P So I think I look great and I'm happy. And it's pretty easy to maintain. Uhhh, I haven't got around to blogging about it yet... even though I said I would months and months ago when I started this blog but I got this thing about numbers. So when I tried to gain the weight. I wanted to clock in at 162 lbs. I got there, but I didn't like it. I was uncomfortable. Not with my body, but with the way I felt. Getting there meant having to eat constantly. I couldn't miss a beat. I had to eat and eat and eat. And not for pleasure. I'd have to eat well after I was full. Eat when I didn't want to. It was just bad. So now I've pretty much resolved that I'm a 150's kinda guy.

153 lbs. is my ideal. Today I fell again... which is why I had this whole discussion on the brain. I fell into the 140's. Grrr!!! It's such a fuckin' bitch! Especially on days like today. I just do not want to eat. I'm not hungry. But I know I should eat and I will, it's just a struggle. And I hate not making the mark. At times I kinda wanna just let it all go and fall back into the 130's (that weight being what I think is my body's equilibrium). But I won't. I know that's just the Shadow in my ear. So yeah... I guess I should go eat something. Hopefully I'll be back at the ideal in the next few days. On the plus, X-mas is around the corner... if I play it just right, those left-overs will get me there. ;)


DS333, bon appétit.

001.183.365

• Late one tonight.
• I'm not really digging the Frappuccino I scored from one of my favorite Starbucks tonight. They must be having an off day. Or maybe it's me? Nah! :P
• Spent most of the day with the entire family today. :)
• Went to Griffith Park tonight to see their Festival of Lights, which is basically a huge drive-thru, safari-esque light display put on by the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. It was much more packed than last year. Probably had to do with the new energy-saving LEDs... they made for a much more lively and vibrant festival. :D
• I love LEDs.
• I love X-mas lights.
• Drove around a few of the neighborhoods in Pasadena to check out the homemade holiday lighting displays.
• I hope my brother and sister don't hate me for unleashing the Xbox upon their household. Halo was the one thing my nephews wanted to talk about today. *L* I thought it was awesome. Then again, I'm not inundated by the conversation on a daily basis... but I still think it's cute. :P
• I've been reading so much about Josh Groban's phenomenal success with his X-mas album, Noël. Apparently it's shaping up to be the most successful album of the year. He's not really my bag, and I'm sure he's a bit milktoast for most people's taste but I couldn't be happier for the guy. On the surface he just seems like a great guy. He could be a total asshole for all I know, but I don't get that impression. I'd rather he have the success than some vapid fuck-up. He's a great artist in my opinion.
• I've been on a mad rush to rip some more CDs and DVDs into iTunes so I could show off Narcissus (my iPod touch) to his fullest. I want my relatives to get the full experience when they play around with him on X-mas. ;) I'm a pusher; pushing the Apple drug.
• I've been obsessed with Tori Amos' Strange Little Girls (2001), particularly the song Heart Of Gold.
• One of the highlights from my Tori Amos concert on Sunday was Pip's performance of Heart Of Gold: I've been to Hollywood! / I've been to Redwood! / I've crossed an ocean! / For a heart of gold! / I've been in my mind! / It's such a fine line! / That keeps me searching for a / That keeps me searching for a heart of gold! / That keeps me searching for a heart of gold!
• Gee, I just lost myself in a YouTube vortex. :P I'm gonna have to call it a night. ;)
• Keep orbiting my fellow satellites. :D

DS333, swirling.

Lyrical Exegesis / A Night With Tori Amos

I've been meaning to blog about this for quite some time. But I've been waiting to house it in something a bit more formal, hence the Lyrical Exegesis tag. So this past Sunday (December 16th), my brother, sister and I attended the final show of Tori Amos' American Doll Posse World Tour at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles. In short, it was everything I wanted it to be and more. It was phenomenal, incredible, astounding, stellar... I could go on and on. ;) I can't imagine I could encapsulate the totality of my personal experience in this post, so I won't even try. But I thought it would be good enough to share a few highlights.

Now, before I speak much about anything I guess I should lay down some ground work for the uninitiated. This tour was meant to promote Tori Amos' most recent album, 2007's American Doll Posse. That work was, more or less, born out of a seed that was sown back in 2001 with the release of Tori Amos' cover album, Strange Little Girls. In that album, Tori covered songs written by men which were then reinterpreted by female personae of her own conjuring. She followed up that album in 2002 with Scarlet's Walk. That work was largely inspired by the events of 9/11 and was meant to question the path America was on. The Scarlet persona, the observer, was born from the work who in turn documented the rise and fall of several female personae chronicled within the album. In the time since, save for 2005's The Beekeeper, Amos has only released various reworks of older material. It was only until this year that Tori picked up the thread she laid down with Scarlet's Walk.

American Doll Posse, at it's core is a call to arms against America's political Christian patriarchy. It's really an amalgamation of all the work she's accumulated in the past seven years. Before Strange Little Girls there was never a full realization of a personae system within Tori's work. That's not to say the archetypes were never there, because they were, but the audience was never privy to anything, or anyone rather, fully conceptualized. With American Doll Posse, however, the archetypes are front and center.

The American Doll Posse refers to a collective of five women that Tori has given form and voice to. The Dolls are modeled after goddesses from the Greek pantheon. Together they are the integrated form of the artist's personality, or at least, part of.

Each show of this tour was structured the same. Every night one Doll from the Posse would be visited upon the audience and perform 4-6 songs in her own unique voice. After which Tori would leave the stage for a costume change and return to finish up the show as herself with the band. Midway through the set the band would leave Tori to perform solo with her piano and then return to close out the rest of the show, along with two encore performances. Which Doll would perform was dependent on the city, the people and the mood/spirit of the evening.

What was especially exciting about the last few shows of the tour was the appearance of two Dolls on stage. Luckily, I was able to see exactly who I wanted to see perform that night. Given the overall thrust of the album, which was largely political, I had no doubt that the final show would be graced with Isabel, Tori's model of the hunter goddess, Artemis. And I was right. Now, I'm not one to set myself up for disappointment, so I didn't really expect to see another Doll that night. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a silent wish deep down in my heart of hearts to see Pip. Pip is Tori's model of the goddess of war, wisdom and strategy, Athena. If ever I imagined Pip having a hometown, I always figured it would be Los Angeles, so I had some hope that she would appear. And she did! :D I was so overwhelmed that night. It was so pitch perfect in every way.

What I love about this work, and Tori's work as a whole is the varying levels of depth that the audience can choose to explore. At it's most superficial, the album is an exhaustive alternative-pop effort. But for me, as usual, it's so much more. I was struck most by the enormity of what being at the show meant. It was witnessing severals years worth of endeavoring come to term. It was also taking part in something largely ritualistic. I came to the show with that in mind. I'd come, head bowed and mind open expecting to experience something mythical. Again, it was everything I wanted and so much more. It was a marvel to witness, and I was awestruck the entire time. It's really something to see an artist pull off something of that scale. The work exists aurally, as music; prosaically and poetically, in blogs, interviews and in its lyrical context; symbolically, in the physical forms the artist adopted. It was a perfect multimedia experience.

And I was so happy about the way in which is was experienced, with Isabel and Pip. That pairing was perfect. In the context of the political push Tori was hoping to promote, there were no two people better suited to end the tour; the thinker and the activist. Ritualistically, to call on the Twin Hero archetype to create a beginning at what was ostensibly the end was genius. I witnessed the magician and the marauder; the shaman and the warrior. It was so many things. It was the animus exposed, two parts of the masculine-feminine...

As I said when I got started, I would never be able to fully relay my experience of the evening so I think I'll call it a rest for now. It's enough to know that I was happily overwhelmed by the show. It was so rich and immersive, mythologically and symbolically so. Allusion was the watchword of the night and I was enjoying every moment of it; being able to make connections throughout her 19-year career. :D

And I never even got around to the actuality of the experience. Tori was on fire, the best I'd ever seen her. Her piano work was spot on and her voice never sounded more solid and crystalline. The venue was phenomenal. The set list was fantastic... Again, I could go on and on about all that as well. :P I guess you just had to be there. ;)


DS333, in awe.

p.s. Super Huge Universal Thanks to my brother and sister who made everything possible. I am forever in debt to their kindness and generosity. :D

A Rant # "The iPod Touch"

The impetus for beginning this Feature was sparked by the frustration I had with the iPod touch. But now that I've had some time to cool off, well... I've sorta lost the fire. :P But since it was the thing that gave birth to the Feature, I'd feel weird about glossing over it. It should be the first. And it will be, but I won't be as vicious in my criticism as I might have been before. I kinda feel like I'm being forced to trash a lover behind his back. :P

Well the huge gripe that got the ball rolling was this weird bug that made it impossible to sync certain Smart Play Lists correctly. I'm convinced the problem must be specific to me and so, not a fair criticism. I have some ideas about what might be the core issue (dependent rules), so I'm hoping I'll fix the problem soon enough. In the meantime, I've done what I said I wouldn't do: I've had to manually drag and drop selections from my Smart Play Lists into static Play Lists. I'm actually okay with the solution for a variety of reasons, the main one, having absolute control over what comes in and goes out of my iPod.

These next few problems are universal to the iPod touch. The first isn't quite valid but speaks to the overall failing of the hardware: there's no click-wheel. Now, if you weren't happy not having a click-wheel you'd be a moron for buying the thing in the first place. So my problem isn't so much with the lack of the click-wheel, but with the lack of its functionality. The wheel made it very easy to control your music with a blind eye and the flick of a finger, not so with the iPod touch. Play lists are the watchword with the iPod touch since you can't easily skip ahead of your songs while it's in your pocket. You have to know ahead of time that what you're going to listen to is something you won't have the urge of skipping through. It's not the worst thing in the world, but I'd love for there to be an easier way to skip through songs that didn't require me pulling out the touch from my pocket.

Another invalid gripe, which speaks more to the LCD industry, is the greater depth achieved with these awesome screens means a greater incidence of dead pixels. I have four on my iPod touch, five if you've a particularly sharp eye. It's annoying, but not a deal-breaker. What sucks is that it's not something you're assured to get a replacement on, so I've never even bothered. Plus I've never been truly bothered by it to make it an issue. It's fine. But it's there. And the catch-22 of it all is that the more high-res these screens become, the greater incidence of dead pixels... but because the screens are so high-res, the pixels and so the dead pixels are so small that they become negligible.

Okay, now the real problems. I don't know why they decided to do this, but for some reason Apple decided to opt out of using scrolling title banners for songs with long titles. It's such a huge issue if, like me, you have files with titles of the same name save for the ending which denotes what part within a series they belong. That crucial bit of info is truncated into a ellipsis. It drives me insane! A "workaround" is selecting the file, letting it play and putting the screen to sleep, then waking it up. When the screen is locked, but awake, you have the entire length of the screen to display the title. Though, you're already playing the file so it's pretty much useless having to go through this, unless it's not immediately obvious what's being played. It's such a glaring flaw. I'm hoping it gets fixed in a future software update.

Next problem. One of the solutions that Apple came up with to alleviate the trouble of fiddling around with the interface to skip songs quickly was the ability to call up playback controls by double clicking the Home button. This works great. It works great for songs that are currently playing. Say I call up the controls to pause a song and put the iPod to sleep for a moment. If I then decide to play the song again, I can't just double click the Home button to bring up the controls again. That action is only registered as a single press. The iPod awakes, and you're prompted to either unlock it or you can then double click again. It's just one more button press, but I hate having to press a sleeping iPod once, and then twice more to get my playback controls! Grrr! :P

You can't copy & paste in Safari, plain and simple.

No Flash support.

I wish I could easily switch between portrait and landscape mode whenever I'm prompted with the touch keyboard. Before you touch a text field you must decide which layout you're going to use, once that keyboard is there you can't change it. You have to quit your action, align your iPod as you wish, and begin again. A mild gripe, but very annoying. I also hate how the iPod decides how I want my text field displayed in landscape mode. Because there's so little space provided in that mood to see where I'm typing, it means everything to keep the screen where I want it. But once I begin typing, the iPod will sometimes realign the iPod to include more of the cursor. It's understandable, but again, very annoying.

I really wish I could sync my YouTube account to my iPod touch. As is, if you bookmark anything on the touch, it's not being bookmarked on your YouTube account. So if you stumble upon a great video while on the touch, you have to dive to the site on your computer and bookmark it there. Likewise, if you have some great videos you want to show your friends and family that you know you bookmarked on YouTube you can't call them up on the touch. :( It's not something I would expect Apple should fix, and maybe they shouldn't... but it would be nice.

I don't like the way iCal displays appointments. I'm speaking specifically of the author citation. I happen to sync my brother's calendars on my Mac, and I have my own calendars... and while we don't have the same things going on, it still looks like a mess when you're diving around iCal on the touch. I just wish the calendar name under which an appointment was listed was displayed. Simple fix, I don't know why it's not there. :|

Gee, I think I could go on a bit more, but like I said... I lost the fire. I'm not as pissy as I was a few days ago, so I feel I'm bitching unnecessarily. I love this guy more than I find him annoying so I'm not cool with the bashing. ;) I expect the experience will get better down the line as software updates are pushed out. That's my hope anyway. :P


DS333, hopeful.

001.180.365

• The 180th post!? I feel like I should be doing something special on this occasion. Hmmm... *happy dance* :P
• I dive around some of the most interesting places in the Net thanks to iJustine.
• I just found this odd site, which I'm considering joining just for the hell of it. Though it might be a chick-only site... not sure. I'm not even sure what the site is. That I hate Flash and I'm still thinking of joining should say something for the site though. I love the barrage of information going on over there. I'm all about data saturation, so that's my main interest. Input, input, input.
  
• Caught up with the latest The History Of Howard Stern.
• I'm getting so comfortable with this Dvorak Simplified Keyboard layout, it's insane. :D It makes me so happy. :P :D
• I got to see some X-mas presents today. I only need keep the secret for a few more days. ;)
• The printer ink industry is such a scam; it's legalized rape. The full refill came around to $60!!! That's crazy, no!?
• I love my Epson scanner/copier/printer. :D
• Today was the first time I had to switch out the ink cartridges (my brother usually did that stuff) for the printer. It was sooo awesome. The innards of the machine were so swank. I was so down with how retro and utilitarian the cartridges looked. I love all that hardware shit.
• Missed a friend on Adium today. I hate not getting there in time. D'oh!
• I see Ramen in my immediate future. *water boiling*
• The fear of death strikes my core whenever Blogger loses contact with the Net. I have visions of router failure. *cold sweat*
• I have to rip some more CDs tonight, though that means a whole lot of scanning and image editing with GIMP. It's a win-win. ;)
• Not so cold today, thankfully.
• Heard a scathing review of Seesmic today. I've been hearing about that damned site for what seems like centuries. I still don't know exactly what it is, but I'm glad to hear that it's a piece of shit. That saves me the trouble of scoring an invite. :P
• I think I've gone through all of my soda withdrawals. I predict smooth sailing from here on out. ;) *crosses fingers* :P
• I don't know why I feel the need to nix my iTunes XML data with each reinstall. Getting my play counts and ratings in order is such a time consuming process. :|
• I should probably head out, it looks to be getting a bit lengthy. I need to learn to edit myself more often. :P

DS333, curbing.

Compound Offenses

In my last blog post, I wasn't totally sure whether or not I brought up my straight edge stance before. At least, I wasn't sure if I went in depth on the subject. So I figured, what better topic to blather on about tonight? But I promise I'll try not to blather on much, even though I certainly can. These Random posts were meant to be nothing more than little blurbs, a sort of vacation from the longer, more structured Feature posts, but somehow I got that all screwed up. :P Once I get going, it's hard to get me to stop. ;)

Now, I'm not exactly sure I'm comfortable using the term straight edge. There seems to be a wide range of definitions for the term and I'd hate to get lost in the semantics. But that's just as well since I hate using labels, classifications and categories as they pertain to me (or anyone else for that matter). I just know that I abstain from drugs. Though, drugs is a loaded word and varies from person to person. For me, drugs would include any kind of alcohol, anything that can be smoked and anything illicit. To me, that's everything. But, some would say taking aspirin or caffeine is over the line. I think that's crazy, yet admirable. Still, I'd never be so stringent.

I also have a problem using straight edge since it implies that it's something that's been adopted. Though maybe not, it just seems that way to me. For me it's just been a normal way of life. It's not as though I became aware of the lifestyle and decided to integrate it with my own. I've been straight edge before I knew what straight edge was. I've never experimented with a single thing. A drop of alcohol has never passed through these lips, nor a puff of smoke been exhaled passed them. I've just never felt the urge or desire to take part in anything like that. Though I don't have a... what would I say... I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with drugs. I mean it's ridiculous to me that certain things are legal and others are not. It seems to be an arbitrary matter of perspective.

I've wondered why I am the way I am in relation to this thing. I've thought that being Native American has certainly fueled my ardent aversion to alcohol since I've seen first hand what sort of damage it can cause. Thankfully, it's never been a problem within my immediate family. But seeing what it's done to us as a people is the most... it's a mixture of things, mostly anger and sadness. So there's that, and there's also maybe not wanting to live up to a stereotype. I'd imagine if I ever were a drinker, I wouldn't become a heavy drinker; a drunk. But that wouldn't matter, it would be enough to have a drink in my hand for that imagery to be conjured up. I would become that cliche. But it wouldn't be the thoughts of others that I'd be worried about. I could give a fuck about what people think of me. It would be a whole inner conflict. I just wouldn't... like I said, it's not my thing. These thoughts aren't fueling my abstinence, it's just a thought.

And in a broader sense, I don't have a problem with drug-users. Some of my very best friends were users. These are the type of people I'd die for. Just the greatest human beings you could ever meet. So for me, drug use never got muddled up with some deranged vision of what or who people are who use them. I'd have to imagine the world's full of straight edge rapist, pedophiles. Partaking in one thing over another doesn't make you a better person. Nor does it make you a horrible person. It doesn't always speak to the character of a person. So I'm not wrestling with some demonic connotation of drug use either.

I have this over-active, wild imagination. I'm the master of visualization. It's just who I am. I interpret things much better with visuals than with sound or text. It's where I live; that's my zone. So, for as long as I can remember I've always carried this image in my mind of what it is to bring drugs into my system. I've this view of what it's like for smoke to creep into my lungs; alcohol into the blood. The imagery is caustic and violent; an affront to the body. It just doesn't make sense for me to wage war on my body in the way that I see it. It's nothing but damage. Though, it's not that I don't do damage to my body already. I'm not the healthiest eater in the world, not by a long shot. So you might argue that it doesn't make a difference at all.

I find people bringing this argument up all over the place, not just as it pertains to this subject, but many others. It seems most people can't comprehend the concept of compound offenses. It goes against my thinking in every way. To do what's always been done amounts to nothing and everything. Because I beat my child, it doesn't matter if I continue to do so? The damage has already been done? Everything matters, everything counts. Because I'm doing damage to my body through a chemical-infused diet doesn't mean that I shouldn't care to do more. This is enough. I'd be a hell of a lot worse off if I took up smoking or drinking. I want to live, plain and simple. Adding anything else to the mix is only going to take away from that wish. It's just unhealthy. I can't wrap my mind around it. I just couldn't do it. It's not in my bones or blood. It's... we're diametrically opposed. That world in so far flung from my own.


DS333, clean.

p.s. I didn't even go to the economic argument. Can you imagine the awesome DVD library smokers and drinkers could create if they saved their cash? Oh my god, that'd be it for me. :P

The Light House

I'm in the middle of a battle. I've decided to give up Coke for at least a year. That's Coca-cola, or any soda for that matter, and not cocaine. Though I'm not a cokehead either, but I'm sure I've gone on my straight edge rant before (or at least mentioned it in passing) so you already know that.

I'm not sure exactly why I'm on this kick to nix the fix. I mean I have ideas. I've done this before. Back then it was merely an exercise in restraint and control. I wanted to see what it might be like to kick an addiction. I was never obsessed with soda, obsession being my idea of what a true addiction might feel like, but it had definitely become apart of my routine. So I wanted to see how easy or difficult it would be to face my version of addiction. Surprisingly it was quite easy. And because it was nothing more than experiment in my mind, I didn't swear off soda forever. I didn't suckle at the corn syrup teat in quite the same way I did before, but once that year was through I continued to imbibe.

Now I'm approaching the situation in another way. This time around it's not about exercising control or restraint. And while I'm not consuming in the same way I did when I had a quasi-addiction, I think it might be more difficult to kick this time. I think it'll be harder this time around because I'd structured a routine that I felt (and still feel) was moderate and healthy. I'm imagining the lure might come in the form of an internalization of that belief, one that could rival the initial impetus for change. What I had, more or less, stayed true to was only drinking soda on the weekends or whenever I went out. Just two days out of the week. Seems sane. But again, the problem was never about decadence. As most things are with me, it's all philosophical.

At a certain point, after you've talked the talk, you realize you need to walk the walk. Hopefully it's not for anyone else other than yourself, as is the case here. I'm doing this all for me. And for me, the walking doesn't begin after a whole lot of talking has taken place. When you adopt an idea... maybe adopt isn't the right word... the thought is always there, just hidden. So when you become aware, and begin to identify with the idea... thinking can only get you so far. Or rather, thinking brings you to a point where you can no longer luxuriate in denial and obliviousness. This is the case with any form of enlightenment or revelation. In your thinking you inspire more thinking until you flesh out a complete philosophy that is totally your own and that you can identify with through-and-through, and realize you are not living up to.

I liken the process to building a house. You know you need a home, the spark is always there, the thought. There's a need burning somewhere inside. Informed by this flame, an idea emerges from the dark. The idea is gross, broad and undefined. Meditation is articulation. Feeling out an idea, and forming who you are in relation to it creates a shape, a philosophy. The more time and effort you take, the more complex and customized the house becomes. Until you come to the final thought, the final piece to your house, you create a door.

In this instance, I've created a room. And I've just finished my door. Living in the room requires walking through the door. That is true action. Everything up to this point has been purely metaphysical. The completion, the integration, the identification of the idea requires taking from the metaphysical into the physical. This is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. It's not enough to know what is right, you need to do what is right. Knowledge in action is wisdom. It's the door that creates a pull and drag to make change. The room is finished, it's mine and I need to claim it. There's only one person for whom this room is suited. Only one person with the key. The fully realized version of who I know I am and need to be. Knowing this, and not being that man is what inspires change. You become disgusted with yourself, if only because you feel like a hypocrite. You've become all talk. The house is finished, you don't need to talk anymore, you don't need to think anymore, you need to do. Being inauthentic is the supreme crime.

I've felt that way before. Being in between two places. At the threshold. I created my bedroom and needed only to claim my sexuality to sleep comfortably there, forever and ever. The months before coming out of the closet to my family was a period of intense self-loathing. It's amazing how quickly a room can come together. Because I'd known that I was gay for a very long time, years and years. By the same token, so had everyone else. But I'd become accustomed to... I don't know what the word is. I imagine having breathed in dirt my entire life. You don't feel like being quiet or silent is doing much damage. It's very subtle, that quiet killing. You're in the sand, underground, living the life of the undead. But it's subtle, so it's okay. Being on the otherside is what creates the great disparity. Being at the threshold and seeing what it could be like and who you could be, then taking a step back and seeing how things really are and what you've become is the great revelation. Being in between is the worst. You fall in and out of phase of who you are and who you truly are. It's exhausting if nothing else. You feel sick, literally. I've never felt more nauseous in my life...

But back to my original thread. The room comes together rather quickly in the end, much like a physical room I suppose. You just start to hear things, read things, see things that all call back to what you should be doing. To who you are. And what you're not. That's been happening. It was like that before. So many of the people I admired were hammering in these points that I couldn't argue with. I was seeing the tragedy of remaining silent and still all around me, as well as the glory of change. It's like a torrent of whispers and nudges calling you back home. And it's the automatic response to refuse the call, out of fear, that's the most sickening thing. So while giving up soda might not seem as significant or monumental as coming out of the closet, it is to me. Because it's really not about the action itself, it's about claiming who I am. I've all these thoughts about why I need to do this, though I've gone on long enough about so much else so I won't get into that... but it's all significant to me. I know what I should be doing, so I'm going to.


DS333, owning.

001.177.365

• Today was all about the Tori Amos concert I attended with my brother and sister at the Nokia Theatre, the final show of the American Doll Posse World Tour. Very bittersweet: awesome show, sad to see the tour end. :(
• Transcoded Björk: Volumen 1993-2003 for the iPod touch. :D
• I need to rip more of my Tori Amos CDs. I haven't fully restored my music library after the Tiger reinstall.
• I finally scored the American Doll Posse World Tour program. It was the one album that was missing album art in my iTunes Library. The circle is complete! :D
• Anticipating the beginning of The History Of Howard Stern on Sirius Satellite Radio "tonight". It's less than three hours away. Eeeep!
• Today was such a great day, it can't really be put into words. Today was a vortex of emotion. :D *hazey, dazey*

DS333, on cloud 9.

Explained, "A Rant"

It's that time of the month. Or that time of the week or day. Depends on when you catch me. But since I've been in a particularly bitchy mood lately, I thought I'd create a feature in which I could rant on about any little thing my bitter, twisted heart desired. :P Thus A Rant was born. I'm really not at all pissy very much, but every now and then I have a burning hatred, that if given physical form, would raze civilization. ;) Let's hope I don't make too many entries with this one. :P


DS333, brewing.

Linkage ~ "URL Redirection"

I haven't made many Linkage posts, so I thought I'd fix that problem. Though, I wasn't sure what exactly I would link to. Then I figured I might try and pretend that I wasn't me. That I would try making suggestions to my virginized self about sites and web services he would absolutely need to know about.

Being the digital creature that I am, I'm pretty obsessed with micro-blogs like Twitter, Pownce and to a lesser extent, Jaiku. These services (save for Pownce) allow you to make short-form updates about things you're doing, etc. with the proviso that you limit your posts to 140 characters. Given that you've such a tight space to work within, linking to sites and videos can get a bit tricky since they often require pasting large URLs. The solution to this problem is to use proxies, or URL redirectors: simple web services that take lengthy URLs and create shorter URLs that forward to the original source. They're a lifesaver when trying to stay within your character quota. So I thought I'd offer up a few of these services whenever you find yourself in a micro-blog pinch. ;)

I'd say the most popular URL redirector has been and is TinyURL. It's tried & true and solid as hell.

My personal favorite is URLtea. I'm a sucker for puns and I think the site name is slick as all hell. URLtea, Earl Tea... c'mon... how can you not love that? :P The only problem here is that I've noticed the site's reliability to be a bit spotty in the last few weeks. That's a bit of a drag, but I'm listing it here in the hopes that they get back on track in the coming weeks, hopefully days.

Snurl is a service that one of my favorite tech bloggers, Xeni Jardin, uses quite frequently. If it's good enough for Xeni, it's good enough for me. ;) It's got some major geek cachet in my book.

Lastly, there's Metamark. I don't use it much, but it works as good as any of the rest. ;)

So go forth my fellow satellites. Spread your digital joy with greater efficiency. ;) :P


DS333, linking.

001.174.365

• I can't stop listening to PJ Harvey's Dry from her 1993 album, Rid Of Me. ...You've come all this way / No hair out of place...
• The Net was very busy today... more so than usual. Did anyone else notice?
• No ER tonight. I'm sad.
• Kid Nation and Kitchen Nightmares wrapped up their television seasons last night. I'm sad yet again.
  
• Today was the last live show of the year of The Howard Stern Show. I'm really sad. :(
• I'm sooo excited about the Tori Amos concert my brother, sister and I will be attending this Sunday!!! It's the final show of the tour and all the shows leading up to it have been stellar. The other night I had a dream about being at the show. I'm so excited and nervous. :D
• The History Of Howard Stern premieres on Sirius Satellite Radio next week! Très exciting. ;)
• I need to hit up a mall before the X-mas season is over. I got a thing for the lights. Love the sights. I'm not too hot on the sounds of X-mas, but I could soak in the sights for millennia. ;)
• Is it possible to click a mouse to death? I'm largely keyboard-centric when it comes to navigating through my computer, but for some reason my Mighty Mouse is acting up. :( I hope it's not dying or something.
• I got my Apple Care Protection Plan certificate in the mail. My iPod and I can breathe a sigh a relief. *beep* *sigh* ;)
• I haven't got around to "fixing" my iPod. I don't wanna stress. :P
• I can't wait to see There Will Be Blood.
• I want to see No Country For Old Men again.
• I should head out, I'm gonna go link crazy on this post and that's gonna take some time. ;)
• Goodnight all you satellites. :)
  

DS333, linking.

Big Glitch, Bigger Bitch

I'm so frustrated right now. I've only had my new iPod touch for a little over a month so I haven't really had the time to discover any critical flaws, that is, until now. For some reason the majority of my Smart Playlists aren't syncing correctly. Narcissus (the touch) is clinging to old versions of those playlists. For instance, I have a Smart Playlist that keeps track of my least played songs and another of the most. The lists that exist within iTunes are obviously up-to-date. But the lists that exist on Narcissus seem to be holdovers from the very first sync. And no matter how many times I try to sync, I still wind up with same out-of-date lists. I don't know where that data is being collected from and it's driving me insane!!! I even went so far as to restore the iPod to the latest firmware and I still wind up with the same problem!!!

That are a few things that I could go through that might fix the problem. I should give those a try before I have a total meltdown. But the core of my frustration lies in the belief that this shouldn't be so difficult to fix! I shouldn't be jumping through all these hoops to fix something so simple. I'm wracking my brain and it's killing me. I hate glitches!!!

If worse comes to worse I might have to manually manage the music on Narcissus, which would be a real bitch. That would mean having to maintain the Smart Playlists I have now, and copying & pasting the data into a standard dead Playlist each time I felt like having an up-to-date playlist. That's hardly a solution and just something I'm not going to do. That would be ridiculous.

From what I can tell, iTunes backs up the touch's data somewhere on my system each time I sync. And the problem I had with the restoration lies in the fact that it's still here... somewhere. When I restored, I was given the option of recognizing this as a new iPod or backing up Narcissus' system preferences. I chose the new iPod settings, but named the iPod Narcissus again... which I think might have confused the system. I probably, inadvertently, restored the same fucked up data from before. But I can't be sure. I'm gonna give the restore another go and rename Narcissus and hope that all works well. But therein lies another frustration. I shouldn't have to hope. This should just work! And I'm gonna be more pissed off than ever if it doesn't. Each time I try something and it fails I spiral into a greater rage. A system should just work!

Ugh. I hate troubleshooting. I hate glitches. I hate the unforeseen. I'm hoping this problem is resolved quickly enough. I just hate this whole process. Not knowing what's wrong. I feel like I have a crying baby on my hands and I'm sorta freaking out. Especially when my baby came with a User's Manual. :P I didn't expect this. So I'm gonna go for the restore, think of a new name for my baby... If that doesn't work, I guess I'm gonna have to dive some forums and if all else fails I'm lucky enough to have Narcissus covered on the Apple Care Protection Plan for iPod & iTunes, so a Genius might be in our future. :P ;)


DS333, bitchy and hoping for the best.

A Glutton's Gloom

I don't know that there's anything as soul-crushing as building up a strong appetite by fantasizing about a particular food and then not finding it there to greet you in the kitchen. :(... It happens more times than I would like, at least recently. Though, there's a difference between being disappointed by inflated expectations and plain forgetfulness. I think it's a sure sign that I'm a glutton through and through when I can't remember I just polished off an entire carton of ice cream a few minutes before. :P I've been forgetting what I've been eating in the last few weeks. Or rather, how much I've been eating. I'll go for another gulp or another bite and find that I'm all done. "Oh yeah..." It's kinda scary when you think about it... it's almost like experiencing lost time. Though, I'd probably feel more comfortable losing chunks of time than food. :P ;)

Anyway, that's that. I've learned to live with it. In the grand scheme of things, it's nothing big and doesn't happen all that often... just recently. I don't know why. Might be kinda dangerous though. Dangerous in that I feel it's somewhat mixed up with that thing that the obese speak of when they say that eating sometimes becomes a time-kill. Y'know, not at all about the eating and the staving off of hunger, but more about just being bored and doing something. That oblivious automatic response I think is dangerous. I don't eat just to eat. That strain of gluttony is the most disgusting thing to me. It's like taking a lover for granted. I'm very much into the experience and sensuality of taste, but I guess I'm suffering from the same automation so I shouldn't throw stones... but I will anyway. :P

Okay... I never know how to wrap up these Random posts, so I'll just say bon appétit. Hopefully my mind will be more in the game in the future, I don't know how much soul-crushing I can take. I'm gonna go look for something to eat now. :P ;)


DS333, The Sensualist.

001.171.365

• The cold weather let up today.... sorta.
  
• Been doing a whole lotta catch up with my podcasts, both video & audio. :D
• I can't stand Janice Dickinson.
• Watched the new Futurama movie, Bender's Big Score.
• Decorated the X-mas tree while listening to some X-mas tunes on Sirius 2 with my Mom. :)
• I hate tinsel.
• I hate dust.
• Eeeep!!! My Tori Amos concert (the final show of the American Doll Posse World Tour) is only five days away!!! I feel faint & nauseous.
• I need to pee.
• I've been rebuilding my system a lot in the last week. :D Better than ever actually.
• Was hoping to catch Eddie Murphy's Raw on TV tonight, but wouldn't you know some dumbfuck thought it a good idea to censor it!!!??? Grrr!!! You don't censor comedians!!!
• Had some chocolate chip cookies tonight. Wish I had some more. :D Mmmm... and some brownies with loads of walnuts. *drool*
• I always forget what I should post in these Third posts.
• Time to head out I guess. ;)

DS333, done.

Film Fetish: "Live Free Or Die Hard" (Unrated)

Live Free Or Die Hard (Unrated) (2007)
- directed by Len Wiseman



The fourth film in the Die Hard franchise finds detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) on a routine mission to find and apprehend a suspected criminal hacker, Matthew Farrell (Justin Long), and escort him to Washington DC for questioning in a recent cybercrime that resulted in a temporary breach in the FBI's security network. While in DC, they find out soon enough that Farrell is not responsible for the crime, but has ties to the criminals who are. McClane must now protect Farrell from the group of hackers who now wish to see him dead, and enlists his help in tracking them down and stopping them from realizing their plan of bringing down the United States' entire computerized infrastructure.

Up front I should say that my review is based solely on the Unrated version of this film that was released on DVD. The same DVD has the original theatrical version intact but I haven't made the effort to watch it yet. I'm assuming the two versions are worlds apart. The original version was rated PG-13 and the Unrated version easily qualifies for an R-rating in the first 30 minutes. I imagine the Unrated version remains true to the real spirit of the franchise.

What can I say? It's a Die Hard movie! I thought it was great. Within its context of course. It won't win an Academy Award, but it's still very entertaining. It's a whole lot of badass action-packed goodness, which is all you really want from a Die Hard movie. I know this film took some flack when it was in theatres, but I just don't get it here. But again, I watched a different version. I thought the chemistry between Bruce Willis and Justin Long was stellar, which is critical in a movie like this, given that you follow them throughout the majority of the film. The plot was decent enough and set the stage for some truly great action sequences, but still required a fair share of suspension of disbelief. All familiar territory for a Die Hard movie and a quintessential popcorn flick.

8/10 Well worth watching if you're looking to scratch that action-movie itch. It's a whole lot of fun. Nothing more to say than that, except to say: "Stick to the Unrated version!" :P ;)


DS333, very satisfied.

p.s. I wish they kept to the original title. Would there have been anything more corny than Die Hard 4.0? :P I die a little inside each time I think of what could have been... ;)

Explained, "TV Time"

This feature has been a long time coming. Actually, I'm surprised I've gone this long without it. And maybe I'm getting to it a bit late given that the current TV season is winding down and the next one won't be starting up for quite a while since we're in the middle of a WGA strike. Nonetheless, I've been craving a little corner of this blog to dedicate to my love and hatred for television. So I hereby claim this little corner as TV Time! :P ;)

We'll see how this goes. I might rant on about a TV show as a whole or maybe just an individual episode. I might even use this an a rundown of all the highlights and lowlights for the entire week. Who knows? Like I said, "We'll see how [it] goes." ;) At the very least I now have a proper soapbox to shout from. I've been dying to talk about TV. :D

DS333, pent-up.

001.168.365

• I used to weather the cold a whole lot better as a wee lad in high school. Not so much anymore, I'm shaking as I type. *teeth chatter*
• Went to the theatre with the family today. We saw The Golden Compass and it wasn't half bad. I enjoyed myself quite well. A win-win. ;)
• I'm taking up an old task. Years ago, I gave up soda for over a year. I'm planning to swear off soda again, just 'cause. Well not exactly "just 'cause", but you know what I mean. Or maybe not. ;) I hit a glitch tonight, so I'll start tomorrow. :P I guess I better go hog-wild tonight. :P
• I registered Narcissus (my iPod touch) for an Apple Care Protection Plan courtesy of my wonderfully generous brother. :D Who knew "peace of mind" costs $60? :P
• I found this amazingly great and simple typing test web app for the iPod touch that's teaching me to type more quickly and comfortably with the touchscreen. I never really got into it until now. I'm up to 25 WPM. If Apple ever releases a software update that enables a Dvorak Simplified Keyboard set-up I know I'm gonna fly!
• I haven't been practicing at all with the QWERTY keyboard layout. I must be terrible by now. :P :(
• I've a calzone from Sbarro waiting for me in the kitchen and I couldn't be happier. :D
• I'm not one to make "The List", but if I were to... my dream man would be a master Italian chef. :P
• I recently watched Live Free Or Die Hard. As usual, I reserve my judgement/review for a future Film Fetish post. ;)
  
• I need to shine my steel-toed boots again. You must be ever vigilant to maintain that glossy shine after that five-year mark. We've now been together for nine years!
• My head's been shaved again. I'm sporting a 1. I'm channeling my inner mercenary/survivalist. :P
• I'm hungry. What better note to leave off on? :P
• "Stay hungry". ;)

DS333, on fire.

Accidents & Opportunity

I'm a huge believer in signs. Signs in all their forms. They appear as flashes of emotion, as accidents, etc. There's a reason underlying all these things. The why of each event is specific to the situation, but the driving force behind them all is the same. The self is always reacting against itself. We want things to happen and we will them to do so with or without our knowledge. The watchword is change. And all these things are changing. Reflecting on the why of the change encourages more change. Hopefully, productive change. Though, some of us are hard-headed and the why isn't readily accepted. So the self reacts more violently and tragically until the why is fully absorbed. It's all about recognizing our demons. Transmuting powers and turning demons into gods.

DS333, conjuring.

To Commit

Close call tonight. I almost didn't blog. It didn't slip my mind or anything, I just didn't want to get around to it. I could've sworn early on in my little blogging experiment that I mentioned the idea of using rain check posts. Just little blurbs that excused myself from the real work of committing something solid and substantial to print. I know there was at least one. There has to be. I think I referred to the idea as my "get out jail free" posts. I would have three throughout the year to use. But looking back at all my blog entry titles nothing really pops out as being the case. So I thought I wouldn't really start right now. I thought I should make the effort to talk about something... anything.

Given my mood, I thought blog fading was an excellent topic to attack. I mentioned the idea in one of my first posts. I had misspoken then, but since I've decided not to seriously edit anything I've already posted I've just let it float out there. I had said that blog fading is only a real problem after the first year. It becomes a huge problem more quickly than that. I think it's a few weeks. If not, months. So far I've beaten the odds. But lately I've been dreading having to post. :P In some ways it's become a chore and that's exactly what I don't want it to become. I mean it's not, it hasn't, it just feels that way sometimes. I think that's more my fault than anything else. It's all about perspective. It only becomes burdensome when I put it off like I have tonight. When I reach a point where I don't want to do anything else but sleep. That's all on me. My fault.

I need to not give up on this thing because... well I made it a resolution and when I make sure to commit to something, an idea, a person, a promise I can't let myself not follow through. I would feel horrible about quitting on this project. I need to feel committed to something right now. I need this more than it needs me, or more than anyone else needs to read or witness it. This is very much about me right now; personal. There were several reasons why this whole project got started in the first place, but at it's core it's all about commitment, loyalty and perseverance. I gotta stay on track. I need to stay true to this. I'm not gonna give up. I can't.

DS333, resolute.

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• I've been having really weird dreams. :P
• Going to the laundromat with the iPod touch in tow is such a different experience from before. Time flew by in an instant. :D
• Someone broke up today. After seven years in a committed relationship. It made me very sad. Though, I don't know the people. Still... it affected me.
• A friend of mine has a story to tell. From the sound of it, not a "good" one. I hope everything is okay.
• I'm downing the last of my Martinelli's Apple Juice. :(
• Eating some sunflower seeds. I eat too much of 'em. My lips are gonna pay for it tomorrow. They already feel sore. :(
• Converting my fifth film for Narcissus: Wong Kar-Wai's 2046. :D
• The Biggest Loser's extended/bloated runtime in really pissing me off lately. It doesn't need to be two hours!!! Enough with the mindless filler!!!
• Night night.

DS333, running out.

Latest Love <3 "Martinelli's Apple Juice"

Earlier this Summer the family and I went down to Long Beach to attend a pow wow at the campus of the California State University of Long Beach. We had a great time. The entire day was a huge plus, and for me that was in large part due to a little discovery I made that day.

On the way home we made a stop at a 7-11. I forget what city we were in, but we weren't too far outside of Long Beach. Point is, that the place was out of the way; unfamiliar territory. I stopped in to get a drink. And on that day I was on a health kick so I wasn't down for a Slurpee or Frappuccino. So I was browsing through the drinks until I found her. :D My new obsession, my latest love... Martinelli's Apple Juice.

I can't say that I'm an apple juice aficionado. I just don't drink much of the stuff. In fact, I'm just not a huge juice guy in general. So it would be unfair to say that Martinelli's Apple Juice is the best there is, since I haven't had much else. But I'm gonna say it anyway. :P I looove this juice. It's the best. Nothing I can say can compare to experiencing the taste yourself. So do yourself a favor and find some and give it a go.

Though, finding the juice might be a problem. I haven't been able to find it in any local stores. I've even been sure to check random shops when I'm out in the city and I come up empty-handed. I find Martinelli's Sparkling Cider though, which ironically enough I couldn't hate more. :P Fortunately I recently got my hands on a few bottles, the apple juice that is. So it's not impossible to find. Using the link I've provided in this post I've learned more about their product line than I ever dreamed possible. I'm gonna be on the hunt for all those different flavors and sizes. :D

By the way, the 10 oz. Apple Juice was my original sin. Try that out. You won't be disappointed. ;)

DS333, juiced.

Film Fetish: "Little Children"

Little Children (2006)
- directed by Todd Field


Todd Field's follow-up to 2001's In The Bedroom is an adaptation of Tom Perrotta's novel of the same name, Little Children. The film is a slice-of-life view of several seemingly disconnected, yet interconnected people living out their lives in a quiet suburban community. The film focuses on the relationship between the two lead characters Sarah (Kate Winslet) and Brad (Patrick Wilson), who feel trapped in their respective stilted marriages. Their budding friendship and the complications that arise from it set the stage for a string of decisions that lead toward an unfortunate and unlikely end.

I've been in love with Todd Field ever since he directed In The Bedroom. In fact, it's the only reason I love him because I haven't seen much else of his work. That said, taking into account this film as well, I can definitely say that Mr. Field is a truly competent director and an intriguing storyteller to boot. This film, while very different from In The Bedroom, offers up an equally compelling and unique perspective on the nature, reality and idea of marriage. The film has shades of tragedy, yet not much so that the film becomes yet another trite satire of American suburbia. Everything here feels real. Feels honest and true. It's that sense that lends an overall dread to the viewing experience. It all feels voyeuristic, to the point that the telling of the story feels intensely vicarious. This movie is an exercise in confronting your own mistakes and regrets and challenges your ideas of morality. In short, I loved this movie. ;)

8/10 Fucked up people, fucked up relationships and fucked up situations. What more can I say? :P Seriously though, this is an excellent drama with thought provoking ideas about relationship tying it altogether. In league with the very best, of what I like to call, cautionary tales.



* Spoilers *

If you have absolutely no interest in seeing this film, you owe yourself to at least check out the trailer. If you know me well enough you should know I hate trailers as a general rule, because generally speaking they're all shit. But every now and again one pops up that stands alone on its own as a great piece of film making. At the very least, a masterpiece of editing. The trailer for Little Children is one of these trailers. A masterpiece. Enjoy. ;)

p.s. This film has some of the hottest sex scenes in American cinema. :P :D

DS333, much pleased.

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• As much as I've been campaigning against it and trying to tough it out, the heater is back in full operation again.
• I try to save as much electricity and gas as I can. We use too much as is, it's only natural to want to conserve.
• I went to the local theatre today, it reminded me why I'm an introvert. :P
• Some people are so fuckin' inconsiderate and uncivilized.
• I watched Beowulf (in digital 3D) and No Country For Old Men today. :D
• I didn't touch a GQ today. I'm such a bad boy. ;)
• I'm about to sink my teeth into some juicy, succulent, delicious barbecued pork flesh. *drool* (literally)
• Had some Iced Tea today at Starbucks. Talk about a switch huh? :P
• I used Narcissus' WiFi in public today using a T-Mobile Hotspot. Though I was too paranoid to surf to any password protected sites like Google Reader or Twitter. :(
• I've been watching more movies using Narcissus in the recent days than I have in recent weeks with a DVD player. :D
• I hate dead pixels. I have 4 on my iPod touch. They're minuscule, but it doesn't matter 'cause I still notice them. :P It's really not a problem though. I love imperfections. It's all about character. ;)
• Time to check on those BBQ pork ribs. ;)
• Goodnight fellow divers.

DS333, hungry.

Connection Conniption

I'm more than a bit annoyed right now. For some reason my internet connection is seriously lagging behind. But as Merlin Mann would so, this is very much a "first-world problem". Which I fully understand. So I'm trying desperately to maintain a sane perspective on the situation. :P But I can't. ;) I just hate it when things aren't operating as they should. This might be understandable if I were on DSL, but I'm not. We have a cable internet connection here. This shouldn't be happening! Help me!!! :P :(

I'm frustrated, annoyed and definitely not in the mood to be blogging right now. If you're diving the Net smoothly right now, consider yourself lucky. Don't take your fortune for granted. Look upon my pitiable situation and count your blessings. :P Give thanks to the Digital Gods and live a happy life. ;) :P

I was you once. You will be me.

DS333, stalled.

Point Of No Return

I really need to make an effort to start reading more analog media. I used to, but I've fallen out of the habit. For a long time my reading material could easily be broken up into two categories: magazines & books. Nothing revolutionary. As far as magazines went, my focus was singular. I only subscribed to GQ. When it came to books my interests were wide and varied. But once I latched onto a book, I made sure to stay within a particular theme. I'd usually stick with an author or series.

So this is the way things went. I would receive a new GQ in the mail and read it cover to cover. I'd say, on average, that would take about a week or two. Once I had that GQ in my grasp, that's the only thing I would read until it was finished. Once it was finished, I had the rest of the month to read whatever else I wanted to. That usually meant the current book I was reading. But once a new GQ came in the mail, I'd put the book on the back burner until I was finished with the magazine and then I would continue on with the book. If I finished, I always made sure to have another book on hand and the cycle would continue.

I loved this system, if only because it was a system. Plus, as systems went this was elegant and simple. If anything it was better than an ordered chaos. Which is where I am now. Ever since I started this project, things have gone all topsy-turvy. Well maybe that's not true. Things became undone a long time ago. I just stopped reading my GQ magazines and they kept piling up and up. Things are out of control and I'm sooo far behind. And being the guy that I am, I can't let go. I must do what I set out to do. Or rather, if I want to continue reading this magazine (which I really do) I must read everything in order. At the moment, though, that's a very tall order. I'm at least a full year behind on the issues. I really need to make a decision right now. Actually I've already made the decision, I just need to execute. If I don't follow through, I'll be so far behind I'll have no way of catching up.

I'm gonna start small and see if I can just sit down for an hour each day and see if I can't chip away at this massive wall of paper. If things are progressing nicely I might bump it up a notch. I'm not exactly sure what reading one hour a day amounts to when it comes to getting through one of these issues, but I hope it's enough. My hope is that I can at least take care of 1.5 issues worth of reading a month. In my wildest dreams, two issues per month. I just need enough to catch up.

As I've said... all of this is a must. Because of the system I've laid out in my head, I haven't been able to read anything. Nothing analog anyway. I haven't read a book in over a year. Which is very sad. Especially when I think of how well I was working my way through The Collected Works of Joseph Campbell. I need to get back to that. And getting back there means getting through these magazines. I need to. And I can't turn back.

DS333, planning.

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• I completely beat Super Mario Galaxy tonight! :D It entailed beating the game as Mario with 120 Power Stars which unlocked Luigi. Then beating the game again as Luigi with 120 Power Stars which unlocked The Grand Finale Galaxy. Then scored the final star with Mario & Luigi, the 121st. :D
• Enjoying a pathetic sense of accomplishment tonight. :P :D
• I think I might have to unsubscribe to Lifehacker in Google Reader. :|
• I'm loving Quicksilver all the more these days. Due in large part to fiddling around with the triggers. :D
• I want to learn AppleScript.
  
• I really hate the WGA strike. Which really means I hate corporate America. Those greedy bastards. Avarice will undo this world.
• Biggest sign that I'm an addicted webhead? My brother called me after he was worried about not seeing me post on Twitter for a day. :P
• Not so cold tonight.
• Soon enough the Christmas decorations will go up. *sigh* I fear stepladders coupled with uneven ground. :P
• I hate those dreams that are so intense they make you feel like you haven't slept. Had one of them last night. The highlight (or lowlight, rather) involved me running for my life as I was trying to escape the grasp of lustful, gangbanging truckers. *shivers*
• It's getting harder and harder to torrent these days it seems.
• I wish I could run Leopard. :|
• Time to go to sleep. Or at least wind down for the night. :P

DS333, signing off.

Memory... "Tiger Eyes"

I thought it was sort of funny that a friend of mine recently brought up a trip to Magic Mountain. It was funny in that odd, coincidental sense. For a while now, I've been thinking of sharing this particular memory and it takes place at Magic Mountain. That recent off-hand mention, to me, is a sign that the story is begging to be told.

It's not a great story. Just a simple memory of another stranger. In the same vein of the last. It takes place some years back. Maybe in 2001 or 2002. A relative from Arizona was staying with the family for an extended visit and my older brother decided to take us out to Magic Mountain sometime during that Summer. I'd never been and always harbored a fear for roller coasters, but I wound up having one of the best times of my life. Apparently I'm an adrenaline and speed junkie in that atmosphere. I really took a liking to that entire world. I cast off my usual paranoia and learned to have a good time. I don't think I spent anytime whatsoever conjuring up images of my life ending in the grips of twisted metal. I guess I was having a good day. :P

Anyway, back to the point of this post. Since it was Summer, it was very crowded. Tons of people were at the park. I think you'd be hard pressed to recognize a familiar face throughout the day. It was stranger after stranger. Though, if I had the opportunity to see these strangers in a line up, I might be able to recognize one of them.

If I were given a map of the park I might be able to pinpoint where this took place. That's the kind of impression he left that day. I remember clearly the idea of food, but I'm not sure if that's because we were looking for a place to eat or if we had just finished eating. Whatever the case, for a few moments the hustle and bustle of the crowds broke. Broke for enough time to reveal him to me. I don't know who he is, who he was with, where he was going, etc. He was just this guy, this stranger. For the most part, I might say no more remarkable than the rest of us. As beautiful and as humble as any other. Except for his eyes.

He had the most... well... I don't even feel comfortable quantifying this sort of beauty. Maybe not the most beautiful eyes ever formed, but enough to leave an impression unlike any other. I thought tiger. That's all I could think. They were the most peculiar shape, size... very unique. I'd never seen anything like them. They were tiger eyes. That's the only way that I can describe them and the only way I've chosen to refer to them since.

It's funny how that happens. How we leave impressions without ever knowing it. He's played a unique role in my universe. Well not him, but his eyes at least. Like I said, I didn't know him. It was the shock and awe of the experience that I was left with. So don't get me wrong, I'm not pining away for him or those eyes. The memory is only there because... well, they were just so unique. It's hard to forget something you've never seen before. Especially when that something is so beautiful.

I don't typically draw portraits of people, but I have been meaning to interpret these eyes through my art. The shock, the awe, the beauty, the serendipity, the obliviousness, etc. I need to pin it down somehow. It's been years and I still haven't found a way around it or through it. It's just there. The thought and the memory. Floating like a cloud, waiting to take shape and rain down on me. It'll come though. Eventually...

DS333, waiting.