Playing The Game

I was also thinking of titling this post Living Life. Damn! I just got another idea for another blog post... *writing it down* Anyway, I've been thinking about writing about this for some time, in some form. Apple's WWDC '08 conference isn't far off and with it comes the highly anticipated announcement of the second generation iPhone. It's the iPhone that sparked this idea recently, not the new but the old one. I've been thinking specifically about the mandatory contract with AT&T you have to sign if you buy the iPhone. Whenever this comes up I always have to bring up AT&T. Now I won't go into it here, so you can read that here. :P

But I just... well it's a funny thing. I hate people who impose their morals and ideals on others. But then, you could say that I do that quite a lot. I try not to, I like to think I project rather than impose... I don't particularly think of myself as judgemental but I guess I am... I mean I know I am. There's always been this tension between being open and judgemental with me. I like to say that the worst thing anyone's ever said to me is that they "admire[d] [my] moral rectitude." WTF!? I hated that so much. What should've been taken as a compliment always felt like an insult. It's hard for me to imagine being... open and diplomatic and holding a space in which thoughts and concepts are sharp and rigid. I'd never want to alienate... or... I never want to close myself off from trying to relate or connect with something or someone and for some reason I feel that those rules will separate and cut me off. It's a stupid idea. I think of uniting the Madonna and the Magdalene when I fall into this... it's possible to create and live within two spaces at once. I know that's possible but still I fear painting myself into a corner. I never want to become that enemy.

You know, I'm muddling everything. I'm merging too many thoughts at once. I just wanted to say that I think it's interesting to meditate on this idea of holding true to who you are and what you believe is right in a world that's not always true and that you don't always feel is right. And I'm always interested in what people let slide. What's your line? What's my line? What do you deem acceptable or unacceptable? And how do those lines affect your life? There's a thread here about sacrifice... that's always the case when you stand up for what you believe is right I suppose. There's also a thread about the state of things, the way of the world and the toxicity of indifference. But as for playing the game and living life... well I was thinking about sweating or not sweating the small things. Sometimes we might get out of hand with our beliefs... but then again... that's all a matter of perspective. See, for me... I sorta cringe whenever I see someone with an iPhone because I know that it means for AT&T, or at least I know what it doesn't mean for that particular user. They're not bothered by what they've done? They're fine with giving them their business? But as I said... it's all about lines and there's so much corruption in the world that it would be hard not painting yourself in a corner. We're all playing the game... we're just trying to live life and don't really need someone telling us what we're doing is wrong. But still, I care. I'm going to find every opportunity to spout off. If I see something happening that I think is wrong, well at the very least I'm going to voice my opinion. So at times, to hell with playing the game and playing it nicely or just living life (life is more than just surviving)... above all else you have to stay true to yourself; you have to speak up.


DS333, confused & lucid.