Do doo dooooo! That was my attempt at trumpeting. :P 365 blog posts baby!!! :D It's over, it's done, it's complete! :D I can't believe I did it. The past few days have been filled with paranoia, I was sure that meteorite was going to strike or that my Mac was going to spontaneously combust. I made it! :) I feel like... I don't know, feel like this is something special and only wish I could make it even more so with a juicy confession or scandalous sex tape. :P Seriously though, I'm sad that I've gotten to the end of this without having said some of the things I've wanted to say, but I guess there's always time for that...
I don't plan to stop blogging, I've made that much known in the past, I've too much of a fondness for it. I didn't expect to fall in love with it in the way that I have. I just wanted to output, that was my main focus. There was something about the year-long challenge that appealed to me. I've always admired artists who were committed to a grueling schedule that required them to... well... commit. It still astounds me to know that there are people out there who have the ability to create substantive articles, critiques, commentaries, etc. on a daily basis, and not for one but many years. I couldn't and still can't fathom it, but I wanted to taste it. I've tasted it. Now I want to carry that over into other areas. I want to stoke the creative fire elsewhere. I wonder what it would be like to focus on the things that I truly value...
Anyway, I'm gonna go dark for a while. I'm not sure what will happen to this particular blog. I quite fancy the idea of letting it stand as is forever and ever. I like the idea of letting it exist, just like this, and not changing a single thing. But who knows... I might come back here, I'm not sure. For now I'll let it collect dust. Although I did mention previously that I wanted to finish tagging everything, I still do, so I might. The content will stay intact... the rest may change, I don't know.
My new home will be an old home, my tumblelog at Tumblr, that I've recently renamed Dead Letters. It used to be an aggregator of my various online identities but I've stripped out all the feeds today to make way for all the new posts I plan to write in the coming days? weeks? months? I don't want to set any timetables. The one thing I hated about the Dead Letter Room was the pressure of getting something out by the end of the day even when I felt it wasn't ready. I hated having to rush something with the thought or fantasy that it could be that much greater, could really flourish, if given the right amount of time. That sentiment really hit home when I was rushing to get the Golden Field out. I liked where it went... but... I really get the sense that it could've... I'll just always wonder what it would've been like if we were both ready to make the jump. It could've been something else... and maybe that something else would've been horrendous, but at least it would've felt right, y'know? I just feel like things need to grow, mature and evolve at their own pace; these things take time. It feels so unnatural to force something into being; all the more so when you feel the resistance coming from within and from the piece, I hate that feeling. So Dead Letters will arrive when they will.
Okay... I guess that's it. Uhhh... wow, this feels so strange. I'd imagined this... this post and what I would say... things I could still say... but I think I've said all that needs to be said. This place may or may not be left to decay. In the meantime I will be elsewhere. Those were the main points. *sigh*
DS333, exeunt.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
In The Mood For Love
I want to talk about Wong Kar-Wai's 2000 art house film, In The Mood For Love. Actually, there are a lot of things that I want to talk about but I've waited far too long to get them out there and I've run out of time. Among the many things that I could talk about I thought why not talk about my favorite movie of all-time? I've been meaning to talk about the film for some time but never found the right place since I restricted Film Fetish posts to movies I'd just seen and I didn't feel right about adding more Features to the blog at the time. So if you've ever wanted to or think you might want to see In The Mood For Love it's probably a good idea to stop reading this post right now. ;)
Oh boy, what is there to say? I feel like there's so much. Mmmm... well I guess I could start off by saying that my first introduction to the world of Wong Kar-Wai was his 1994 film, Chungking Express, quite possibly my first true introduction to Asian art house cinema. I've been in love ever since. The thing I love about Kar-Wai's work is the impressionistic nature of it. Recalling a Kar-Wai film is like recalling a dream or long lost memory. It's a sensuous experience that's heavy on emotion. You take away colors, characters, sounds, images... and the details fall by the wayside. The films are like vignettes... a series of moments meant to evoke rather than explicate. I think the stories have less to do with what's happened, what's gone on, and more to do with what's been felt and wrought emotionally. It's all gut, all heart.
I want to... Why, exactly, would you say this is your all-time favorite film? I want to answer that question but I find it daunting because there are so many reasons. Operating on the level it does, emotionally, is a huge reason. Although I guess you could say that many films do, so I would also say that the way in which it operates is a huge factor. There's an abstract quality to the work, an ambiguity, that lends itself to personal interpretation and I'm all about interpretation. I love not having situations spelled out to me. I love subtext and subtlety. I love reading people. There's a special bond you create if you're allowed to personalize a work in this way, there's an intimacy to this sort of interpretation. I love that level of openness, it's quite characteristic of Asian cinema. I love being afforded the opportunity to make something all my own; I have that with this film.
To get into this any further I guess I should explain the plot of the film, well, plot is a funny word but you know what I mean... let me synopsize. The film is about two people, a man and a woman, husband to another, wife to another, who form a friendship after having discovered that their spouses are cheating on them with one another's spouse. Things start off innocently enough, merely a friendship and a vow not to become their cheating spouses, but as these things often go, one thing leads to another. I love stories like this, simple yet complex. And... well... I guess I could get into it now.
Not just my favorite films, but my favorite stories are cautionary tales, and that's what In The Mood For Love is for me. I think the greatest crime, the greatest tragedy is living an inauthentic life. Saying the same thing, I like to say that the greatest triumph is being true to yourself. Ultimately the friendship between Chow Mo-Wan and Su Li-Zhen grows into a deep, passionate romance... a romance that dies on the vine. It dies because it was never given the chance to grow. The eyes, ears, mouths and judgements of others is what keep the two apart. Society is the villain in this story. And my words could never do the film justice but it's just so tragic. It's depressing and sorrowful to imagine living a life that is not your own; living your life for others rather than yourself. It terrifies me contemplating having to trudge through life only half-alive because I was too scared to do what I knew deep down in my heart was the right thing to do. I couldn't imagine going through life knowing I turned my back on love, on happiness, because I was afraid... afraid of everything... afraid of losing control, what others would think, losing myself, the unknown, etc. This love affair, the tragedy of it, speaks of so many things in all of our lives. It's the sort of lesson I don't think you can hear enough of.
It's funny, whenever I watch In The Mood For Love I think of my parents, specifically my mother. I remember being young, a wee lad, and that first moment I got an inkling that my Mom lived a whole life before my own. I remember the shock of seeing pictures from her youth, people and places I'd never known or ever would. It was very... strange. Strange, the way that a revelation can totally warp your sense of perspective. Having someone exist as a one-dimensional being and then all of a sudden fracture into a beautiful whole is quite unnerving and yet exciting. I loved how that era communicated itself. It wasn't just because the photos were tinged and tattered, it was everything that was in them that gave you the sense that you were looking into... not just the past, but another time.
The great love affair dies and life goes on for Su Li-Zhen. Toward the end of the film we get a glimpse of what her life is now, or what it's not. You get to see how these things get lost. You see the way people bury memories, secrets and feelings. Their love didn't exist for anyone but themselves. No one ever had a clue as to what was going on, and if they did they never would've been able to appreciate the grandeur and beauty of it for the simple fact that they weren't a part of it; they weren't in it. It's that idea that calls to mind my parents. It's not just that the stories of their youth and that of the characters on screen coincide temporally, that's all superficial, it's this idea that there are untold stories, personal stories, from the past that are lost forever and belong only to them. I wonder of the things never said and of lives never lived. I wonder what of those things belong to my parents, the rest of my family, my friends and of myself. What stories will I make and take only for myself? What life will I lead? Who... just so many questions. So many questions and not enough answers... or at least, not enough time left for answering those questions...
DS333, tick-tock.
Oh boy, what is there to say? I feel like there's so much. Mmmm... well I guess I could start off by saying that my first introduction to the world of Wong Kar-Wai was his 1994 film, Chungking Express, quite possibly my first true introduction to Asian art house cinema. I've been in love ever since. The thing I love about Kar-Wai's work is the impressionistic nature of it. Recalling a Kar-Wai film is like recalling a dream or long lost memory. It's a sensuous experience that's heavy on emotion. You take away colors, characters, sounds, images... and the details fall by the wayside. The films are like vignettes... a series of moments meant to evoke rather than explicate. I think the stories have less to do with what's happened, what's gone on, and more to do with what's been felt and wrought emotionally. It's all gut, all heart.
I want to... Why, exactly, would you say this is your all-time favorite film? I want to answer that question but I find it daunting because there are so many reasons. Operating on the level it does, emotionally, is a huge reason. Although I guess you could say that many films do, so I would also say that the way in which it operates is a huge factor. There's an abstract quality to the work, an ambiguity, that lends itself to personal interpretation and I'm all about interpretation. I love not having situations spelled out to me. I love subtext and subtlety. I love reading people. There's a special bond you create if you're allowed to personalize a work in this way, there's an intimacy to this sort of interpretation. I love that level of openness, it's quite characteristic of Asian cinema. I love being afforded the opportunity to make something all my own; I have that with this film.
To get into this any further I guess I should explain the plot of the film, well, plot is a funny word but you know what I mean... let me synopsize. The film is about two people, a man and a woman, husband to another, wife to another, who form a friendship after having discovered that their spouses are cheating on them with one another's spouse. Things start off innocently enough, merely a friendship and a vow not to become their cheating spouses, but as these things often go, one thing leads to another. I love stories like this, simple yet complex. And... well... I guess I could get into it now.
Not just my favorite films, but my favorite stories are cautionary tales, and that's what In The Mood For Love is for me. I think the greatest crime, the greatest tragedy is living an inauthentic life. Saying the same thing, I like to say that the greatest triumph is being true to yourself. Ultimately the friendship between Chow Mo-Wan and Su Li-Zhen grows into a deep, passionate romance... a romance that dies on the vine. It dies because it was never given the chance to grow. The eyes, ears, mouths and judgements of others is what keep the two apart. Society is the villain in this story. And my words could never do the film justice but it's just so tragic. It's depressing and sorrowful to imagine living a life that is not your own; living your life for others rather than yourself. It terrifies me contemplating having to trudge through life only half-alive because I was too scared to do what I knew deep down in my heart was the right thing to do. I couldn't imagine going through life knowing I turned my back on love, on happiness, because I was afraid... afraid of everything... afraid of losing control, what others would think, losing myself, the unknown, etc. This love affair, the tragedy of it, speaks of so many things in all of our lives. It's the sort of lesson I don't think you can hear enough of.
It's funny, whenever I watch In The Mood For Love I think of my parents, specifically my mother. I remember being young, a wee lad, and that first moment I got an inkling that my Mom lived a whole life before my own. I remember the shock of seeing pictures from her youth, people and places I'd never known or ever would. It was very... strange. Strange, the way that a revelation can totally warp your sense of perspective. Having someone exist as a one-dimensional being and then all of a sudden fracture into a beautiful whole is quite unnerving and yet exciting. I loved how that era communicated itself. It wasn't just because the photos were tinged and tattered, it was everything that was in them that gave you the sense that you were looking into... not just the past, but another time.
The great love affair dies and life goes on for Su Li-Zhen. Toward the end of the film we get a glimpse of what her life is now, or what it's not. You get to see how these things get lost. You see the way people bury memories, secrets and feelings. Their love didn't exist for anyone but themselves. No one ever had a clue as to what was going on, and if they did they never would've been able to appreciate the grandeur and beauty of it for the simple fact that they weren't a part of it; they weren't in it. It's that idea that calls to mind my parents. It's not just that the stories of their youth and that of the characters on screen coincide temporally, that's all superficial, it's this idea that there are untold stories, personal stories, from the past that are lost forever and belong only to them. I wonder of the things never said and of lives never lived. I wonder what of those things belong to my parents, the rest of my family, my friends and of myself. What stories will I make and take only for myself? What life will I lead? Who... just so many questions. So many questions and not enough answers... or at least, not enough time left for answering those questions...
DS333, tick-tock.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
001.363.365
- The final Third post... I think I'm gonna cry. :(...
- I think Summer has officially hit Southern California and I couldn't be more miserable about it. :P It was sooo fuckin' hot today and the kicker is that it's supposed to be even hotter tomorrow! Ugh. I wanna hibernate till Fall. :P
- I've been a salted peanuts fiend today. I'm sucker for a batch of perfectly roasted salted peanuts. The sad thing is that I have an odd reaction to the salt, if I eat too many I start to feel a bit dizzy and all around fucked up. I think it might have to do with my blood sugar. In any case I'm planning on pigging out on some more later tonight. :P
- Another GQ arrived in the mail today. *sigh* Will I ever catch up? By the way, I'm kinda tripping out on how and where sexuality is found acceptable. Some might say that Gisele Bündchen's July cover is a tad pornographic. Not me, but I thought... interesting. It's so gray in America. *sigh*
- Now that things are coming to end I thought it would be a great time, in the next few days, to watch the final film in my Akira Kurosawa Retrospective, Madadayo. Bittersweet. :D :(
- Hell's Kitchen is almost over. :(
- Battlestar Galactica is on hiatus until Feb. '09!!! At least, that's what I think I heard. Ugh, such a long wait. But damn... that mid-season finale was fucking stellar! :D
- My back's wet! This isn't natural! Curse you Summer! *pumps fist*
- I can't get my wildflowers to live past a certain point in their development. I think it has to do with the way I've potted them. I learned from the first time around that direct sunlight is not the way to go... unless I'm looking for steamed veggies. :P Anyway... it's all a work in progress... I'll get it right eventually.
- Gee... I don't want to post/end this, but I can't think of anything else to say. Oh well.
- Okay.
- Goodnight sailors. ;)
DS333, waving.
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