Photosensitivity

I've been getting up a lot earlier this past week. Meaning I actually see as much sunlight as you normal humans do. :P

I'd been in a weird space for the last few months. Uh, maybe several months? But I feel like I'm out of that space, in fact I know I am... I don't feel as... well I don't feel the same way I did.

Having been there meant a lot of things. One of them meant I had become even more reclusive than usual. Which I realize wasn't the best thing. I hadn't been sleeping more, but I'd shifted my sleep cycle to the point that I virtually saw no sunlight everyday. Which in a lot of ways was a blessing! Not so much though if you find yourself in a weird space. Then the physical darkness begins to feed into whatever's driving this compulsion to recede. Then the darkness doesn't feel all too comforting. Which is a pretty sure sign that things aren't right. 'Cause I love the dark. I just do. But I'd never had the experience of it affecting my mood in a negative fashion. The dark's always made me happy and content, never sorrowful and melancholy.

So it's kinda funny the way things coincide. Because as soon as I had the inklings of this revelation I was hit with an article about photosensitivity and the lights effect on mood and such. I mean it's obviously common sense. But you sometimes need to hear things externally when they're lingering internally for the thoughts to solidify and become realized. Hearing/reading this was a catalyst for change.

So yeah. It's been kinda wild lately. The first couple of days basking in the light, so to speak, made me noticeably ill. Talk about withdrawal. :P I felt I was always on the cusp of a headache. I also felt mildly nauseous all the time. But it just takes some adjusting I guess. :P Because now I feel fine. Well don't get me wrong, I still hate the light. ;) I think it's just biological. I can't stand bright light and I never will. It just needs to come in waves if I'm gonna experience it full-on. But I'm tolerating a lot more of it than I have in a long time and I feel grateful for it. It has affected my mood, for the better. So all in all things are good. Uhhh... I don't know how to end this. :P The end. ;)

DS333, enlightened.